How to Get Over Your Breakup in 30 Days
by Jared Woods
Should I cut off my ex? What’s the best way to treat mutual friends? How quickly should I rebound? How can I divert the depression? What type of partner is best suited to me? How can I exploit my mishap to become a stronger self? Who am I anyway?? Don’t worry about it! We’ve got you!
How Heartbreak Sucks! works is by assigning small (fun!) daily tasks to the reader, each tried-and-tested to constructively improve all elements of an individual’s life. And after 30 days, the sufferer will have transformed into a better version of themselves with an expert understanding of the healing process. Simple!
The most important thing for you to understand about this process (and which won’t help you whatsoever) is that you are a person with person-insides and person-outsides. It’s a cliché to say, but what you are currently going through is very normal, and on a biological level, actually rather boring. Which is why (in an attempt turn your sadness into a brief yawn) I am going to give you a quick science lesson on what is going on here.
First up, we have a cute fleshy lump in our brains called the anterior cingulate cortex, and this little dude is responsible for our sensations of pain. A vital asset! Pain is what stops us from doing stupid stuff! The problem with old anterior cingulate, however, is that they are utterly oblivious to whether they are feeling physical or emotional pain. This means that a kick in the shin, a knock on the head, or the rejection of a fellow human makes minimal difference. You are going to hurt either way and in much the same fashion.
Next up, meet the prefrontal cortex. This fella has a borderline unhealthy adoration for your happy chemicals (known as dopamine and serotonin) and is notorious for throwing an absolute fit when it doesn’t get what it wants. These tantrums are also known as cravings and include the cries for water, junk food, cigarettes, alcohol, and, of course, the love of an ex.
As if these players weren’t enough already, we also have the amygdala in the middle of everything. Here is a group of small nuclei who wake up during all of this commotion and then quickly press the alarm bells, sending your entire system into panic mode or a blind rage as fast as possible. These little bundles of joy are connected to many magnificent mental health issues, for example, bipolar disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder.
In other words, right now, you are the equivalent of a crazy drug addict who has been beaten up, wanting nothing more than just one more hit of that love you once had, a tiny taste to alleviate this anguish. And that’s all.
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About the Author
“Heartbreak Sucks! How to Get over Your Breakup in 30 Days” is Jared Woods’ third book. Still, he is far better known as a scriptwriter for the cartoon series Pencilmation, enjoyed by millions upon millions of weekly viewers (officially the biggest animated channel on YouTube). When he endured a severe attack of heartbreak some years ago, he set out to defeat the turmoil by consuming all of the material available on this subject. In doing so, he developed a foolproof 30-day system which allowed him to get on with his life. What a beneficial tool! Far too beneficial to keep to himself. Hence why Jared penned this guide, passing the assistance forward as his first foray into the self-help world of writing.